if yøu could rewind

I forgot about this guy. I need a more handy word processor than my phone. Well, I guess it would be less handy because a phone is pretty much the definition of handy… Because it fits in… Forget it.

Anyway my first published short story will be out sometime in the next week or two via The Elephant’s Den, a wonderful little lit mag based in Greensboro. Look them up on here (storiesandsuchthings) and/or Facebook to get your dose of great indie fiction.

Since I got so much great feedback from the people at the Den, I’ve been motivated to take my writing a bit more seriously and attempting to get some more shit published, so I probably won’t be sharing too much on here as if something has been previously “published” online it can ruin your chances of getting that loot for that particular piece.

Anyway, that’s what’s going on with me. Happy reblogging.

—JH

Hi Friends!

I wanted to update everyone in my address book with my new contact information. From now on, I’ll be using this Gmail address instead of my old email, SexxPhreaker77@hotmail.com (“77” of course refers to my ninth favorite Talking Heads album-–I’m counting some live bootlegs in there, too).

As I reenter the job market, it’s important to have all of my online identities project a professional, ready-to-hire public face, which is why I’ve reverted my personalized Facebook URL to just a string of random characters instead of my prior URL, Facebook.com/MasterCOCK. Let’s face it: I’m getting older, and while MasterCOCK is still a treasured nickname and Gamertag, it’s not the first thing I want to come up when a potential employer Googles me. Which reminds me, my Google+ profile can now be found at /SLWEINER instead of /TaintBuster. It also has been deactivated due to non-use.

For those Second Lifers in my address book, you may be saddened to learn that my avatar, Molesto the Scrote’ With Wheels, has been reimagined as a slacks-wearing, ideal job candidate, but–FEAR NOT!-–my SL Marketplace shop will continue to sell the highest-quality virtual sex-bicycles in the Blacksilk district.

Also, my LiveJournal will remain public, but has been scrubbed of all posts tagged CAPITALISTS DROWN IN HELL and PENIS ROT.

You can still find me online, though. For instance, I have reopened my My_____ account. Changing their name to My and then those spaces got me really excited-–this is a great place to network. If you get a My_____ comment from SamLWeiner, don’t worry, it’s still the same old xxPussyNazi666xx as before, just with a snazzier, more employer-friendly profile name.

Some of you are receiving this email because you commented on my Tumblr, Fuck Yeah Ashley Greene Nip Slips. That site has been deactivated. It now hosts my résumé, so feel free to pass it along. My other Tumblr, What Does Cthulhu’s Penis Look Like?, remains active.

And a big apology to my Brazilian friends-–I have shuttered my orkut profile, Dr. Racist McN-Word.

I look forward to continued correspondence with all my friends, online and IRL, and if you know anyone who’s hiring, go ahead and forward them my attached vCard, just please be sure to mention that 69 Balls Avenue is not my current address.

Regards,
Sam Weiner

This time of year I look to where family once stood. If I knew how to love the right way, I would.

Hey guys. I know I rarely use this thing anymore, but I’ve been busy working on writing stuff and actually making an effort to get some of it out there in print, in the real world, etc. etc. Tumblr is perhaps the wrong platform for a text-based blog because these days there seems to be nothing but random viral images, memes, and .gifs punching me in the face when I look at my dashboard. 

That being said, if you or any of your friends likes to write for fun or sport or what have you, please direct them to The Elephant’s Den and encourage them to submit some of their stuff. This is a fun little lit zine out of Greensboro and they’re trying to get as much content as possible to stew over for their first publication in January. Wouldn’t it be pretty sweet to see you/your friends’/your loved ones’ writing in print? (Hint: Hell fucking yes, it would.)

Cheers. 

Hmmm… the times they are a-changin’. They have to be. 

In other news: check out this lit blog, The Elephant’s Den, that’s been publishing some of my short fiction among the work of some super awesome writers. Follow them and get a several-time-weekly dose of independent short fiction, sometimes from yours truly! The first Elephant’s Den publication will be out in January. www.storiesandsuchthings.tumblr.com

Man. What a great week and weekend.

I have always known this, but I am friends with some of the best people alive. The love, the talent, the sheer brilliance and humor of my friends is something I sometimes take for granted, or maybe just fail to notice. I’m one of the luckiest dudes alive. This group is only getting bigger, filled with more and more quality people, people to thank your lucky stars to have met and known and shared so many great experiences with. Even now, as we’re all getting a little older and life is getting more complicated and we can’t be together very often, we still make sure to take time for each other, for fun, and that lets us all know that we’re still a family and we’ll always have each other. I’m always so, so glad to introduce new friends to old, and to welcome special people into what has always been the most steady semblance of family in my life. 

as Vonnegut so perfectly said it: “I love you sons of bitches.”